Try…

Sometimes the skies will threaten to pour. The clouds will form and the thunder will roar but the rain never comes and the sun comes out and shines.

My baby sister asked me one question two days ago, “Do you think I should try?” I told her yes, try. I am not sure why gloom is much easier to comprehend than hope. But I suppose it just is. So people choose to not try anything in a bid to keep themselves safe, from what exactly, I am not sure. Pain I suppose, and that’s okay. To be afraid is human nature, but at what expense. It is so funny, if you think about it. What is standing between you and that which you want is a huge “What if it doesn’t work out?” And I find that the more you think about it the worse it appears. But I also find that when you do attempt it, it humanizes it and you feel stupid for being so scared even if it works out or not.

Sometimes the skies will threaten to pour. The clouds will form and the thunder will roar but the rain never comes and the sun comes out and shines. It may look crazy now, impossible and all, but what if its not. What if you’re wrong. What if it turns out to be the best experience you ever had. I became part of a particular circle a couple of weeks ago and I met this man. My first thought was, this guy is intense, fast forward three weeks later he’s one of the warmest people ever, treats me like his daughter. Such a teddy bear, that one. I was wrong. But lets say you’re right and it doesn’t pun out, are you so fragile that the failure of one encounter could ruin your entire existence, really? If that’s what it is then you have bigger problems than “what ifs”, you need a fresh base for your happy.

I try to constantly remind myself to try everything, pick and choose but try at least most of it. Because then I don’t get to glorify anything simply because I didn’t try it or was too scared to. Fear and I can have a conversation after the fact. I can’t deal with question marks, they bother my mind, cloud it and clutter it. Good or bad I would rather know.

Kukie.

“The trouble with not trying is that it makes the apparent impossibility seem larger than life.”

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