I just discovered I don’t do well with ‘elephant in the room’ kind of situations. In fact if you want me to flee from you, give me an awkward situation. Where I am so uncomfortable I can barely look you in the eye and I suddenly discover I have an inability to breathe. I will run so far, so wide, you can barely catch me. I never thought I would be driven to a point were every time I see a person coming I turn a corner simply because I cant stand the awkwardness that follows each time we meet. Where you know there is hurt but all you can do is exchange niceties, it drives me insane. I am a genuine believer in talking things out, calling them what they are and figuring them out. But unfortunately most people prefer to sit and just wait for the elephant to go away. It never goes away, if anything it grows bigger. Takes up all the space and leaves no room to speak, more importantly no room to listen. It actively puts a rift between people. All of us waiting for it to go away. It’s crazy.
I bet most of you are asking, ‘then why not say something yourself.’ True, this would be way quicker and if I had my way, I would. But they are times when it’s just not your place to say anything. When you trying to address it would probably rub everyone the wrong way. Yes sometimes there is an appropriate person who should say something to put an end to all of it. All you can do is hope that they can take it upon themselves. And in the event that, that individual doesn’t take that initiative, we get to this place, the awkward moment. People walk away with their own version of the story. Each person has their own villain in the story. They have their own understanding of what happened and how its not their fault, and how the other person is entirely to blame. Basically everyone involved has their own understanding, and until its clarified that is what they will stick to.
Whatever you do, try and acknowledge that there is an elephant in the room, large and looming over all of you. If you truly believe that it’s is better this way, to not address anything, then co-exist with the elephant, at least you acknowledge it and it never grows beyond what it is. You agree to disagree and accept that as the status quo. I find that silence makes it grow each day, suffocating everyone in that space, to a point were the perfect friends easily become perfect strangers.
“Listen and speak, you will discover it was never that serious.”