A Fragile State of Mind…

This week has been terribly hard, it’s Friday and I feel like its only starting. I have been ill for most of it and your body breaking down will take a toll on your emotions. My physical health took a dive and my mental and emotional state decided to do the same. After that my whole week has just been a crap storm.Β  It made me realize one thing, staying upbeat is really hard, especially when everything seems to be going wrong. Your belief will take a hit and sometimes you wont come back as strong. Sometimes you will stay down for a couple of days and wallow in your pity, just because it is easier than fighting through all of it. These used to be my “drink a whole bottle of wine alone” moments. But it doesn’t work as good anymore, so I am actively looking for a new relief vice, preferably a healthy one. πŸ™‚Β 

I sank to the bathroom floor in a pool of tears on Monday morning out of shear exhaustion. Sobbed like a child for a couple of minutes and beckoned the heavens to hear me. I crawled back into my bed with soft whimpers, and just for a moment, I felt a warm embrace, engulfing me in such love. Whether you believe it or not, for me it was as real as day. Just like that I fell into a peaceful sleep. Because of that I am grateful for the comfort you do not see, the comfort that understands your down turns and soothes them and after a while gives you your fighting spirit back. Also for the comfort you do see, for the love of your family. The ones that make all the bad ends feel like a breeze. Without knowing it, my sisters have kept me afloat this week, keeping all the bad energy away. Making me realize how trivial the things I fret over can be.

I feel more like myself today, the power has returned, so has the light. Its okay to have a bad day or a bad week. Just don’t invite it to stay forever.Β  As said before, its Friday but for me it feels like the week is only starting. I feel like I could take on Goliath and win. πŸ™‚

Kukie

“Just take on the day, nothing more, nothing less.

MN

3 comments

  1. Damn, your writing is a work of beauty… mirrors my week to a the T… and this part, “Sometimes you will stay down for a couple of days and wallow in your pity, just because it is easier than fighting through all of it.” This just hit home… who told you about me, who has betrayed me πŸ˜€ #ThankYouForYourVoice

    Like

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