This week has been terribly hard, it’s Friday and I feel like its only starting. I have been ill for most of it and your body breaking down will take a toll on your emotions. My physical health took a dive and my mental and emotional state decided to do the same. After that my whole week has just been a crap storm. It made me realize one thing, staying upbeat is really hard, especially when everything seems to be going wrong. Your belief will take a hit and sometimes you wont come back as strong. Sometimes you will stay down for a couple of days and wallow in your pity, just because it is easier than fighting through all of it. These used to be my “drink a whole bottle of wine alone” moments. But it doesn’t work as good anymore, so I am actively looking for a new relief vice, preferably a healthy one. 🙂
I sank to the bathroom floor in a pool of tears on Monday morning out of shear exhaustion. Sobbed like a child for a couple of minutes and beckoned the heavens to hear me. I crawled back into my bed with soft whimpers, and just for a moment, I felt a warm embrace, engulfing me in such love. Whether you believe it or not, for me it was as real as day. Just like that I fell into a peaceful sleep. Because of that I am grateful for the comfort you do not see, the comfort that understands your down turns and soothes them and after a while gives you your fighting spirit back. Also for the comfort you do see, for the love of your family. The ones that make all the bad ends feel like a breeze. Without knowing it, my sisters have kept me afloat this week, keeping all the bad energy away. Making me realize how trivial the things I fret over can be.
I feel more like myself today, the power has returned, so has the light. Its okay to have a bad day or a bad week. Just don’t invite it to stay forever. As said before, its Friday but for me it feels like the week is only starting. I feel like I could take on Goliath and win. 🙂
“Just take on the day, nothing more, nothing less.“