Toxic states of being…

The plan is to ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ it with another great human out of this world. Take it on together and love each other while doing it.

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of listening to Terry Crews speak on Toxic Masculinity at the One Young World Summit in The Hague. He said one thing that really stuck with me. That in societies today men are manipulated by pride and women by fear. It made so much sense finally, why males are crippled by pride and women are crippled by fear. It explained some of the abuse that goes about, emotional or otherwise. In the 21st century its sad to say we still live in a world that hardly lets men wear their hearts on their sleeves. To be considered fully male you must have some sort of dominion over those you consider less than you, those you perceive weak. Unfortunately this bracket covers women, who are constantly perceived weak. Should this perception of power shift, it threatens your pride, your ego as man and I suppose your biggest worry is that everyone will think you’re weak. Ergo men are crippled by pride, they are slaves to it.

Women on the other hand condition themselves into a state of fear, and sometimes society plays a major role in this conditioning. Crippled so much you can barely function. Conditioned to believe this ‘safe haven’ you have (no matter how toxic it can be) is all you can truly have. Fear of the unknown, of being alone, of being out there in the cold all by yourself. The world has you convinced of two things, that its out to get you and that you cannot thrive without its approval. Hence you are in a constant state of fear, you retain your current state because that is familiar. This was my favorite part of Terrys’ talk, he said the greatest thing his wife ever did for herself and evidently for him was that she left him. She defied her fear of an existence without him and she left. This act alone made him face his true nature with a renewed vulnerability. That he did not have to be hard, he could face his weaknesses without demeaning another human being to feel stronger. He understood that pride was nothing but an opium for troubled men, and so is fear to women.

I have had my fair share of crippling fear, encountered quite a few men crippled by pride. Both are experiences I would love to forget but I keep at the fore of my mind as constant lessons. The plan is to ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ it with another great human out of this world. Take it on together and love each other while doing it. I don’t want to be dominated into a state of fear, instead maybe into a state of power. I too on the other hand do not want to drive a man into madness but rather into a state of greatness. The idea should be teamwork, an empire built by two greats, rather than a crippled king and an even more crippled servant.


“Men are afraid that the world will laugh at them, Women are afraid that the world will shame them.”


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