Walking around with the world on my shoulders. arms stretched out, brought to my knees.
Its so funny how at a certain point, superwoman gives out, all she wants is a tub of ice cream, wrapped up on a couch somewhere crying at sad movies. A little time out from all the slaying. The last two weeks I have just been horribly tired, and emotionally exhausted. And every time I mentioned it to anyone their first response would be “but why everything is going great.” There first suspicion is that I have some huge overbearing secret that is weighing me down, and the pretending to be okay is getting to me. The second guess is that I’m being ungrateful for all the good things coming my way. When in actual fact I am just tired, I need a time out from the keeping it together, and just be for a day. Being who I am every ones opinion made me introspect, just to be sure they where not right.
Lo and behold they were not right. I was in actual fact just exhausted, if anything all I wanted was a good cry. It’s no easy task to retain a carefree spirit, wadding off the negativity takes a toll on you. Chasing your dreams and choosing to ignore the doubt takes work. Ultimately the ability to maintain that belief in yourself and in that which is bigger than yourself takes a special kind of tenacity. A tenacity that will sometimes wear you out. And if you don’t acknowledge it you start short circuiting, I started walking around with the world on my shoulders. arms stretched out, brought to my knees. My aunt once said, ‘you must cry, its good for the soul,’ I have now discovered that she was right, a good cry relieves the weight. For me holding myself together takes its toll on my soul, hence the emotional exhaustion and that’s okay. I will take my day off to sob into a pillow or to a friend and the next day will come, I will still take on the world and slay.
You should always remember that misery loves company. It’s easier for a person to tell you that something is definitely wrong, other than to say you’re just tired you need rest, especially when they need someone to wallow in their pity with. So be careful who you seek solace from. It’s okay to fall apart every once in a while, keeping it together can be exhausting, to fall apart is not weakness but rest. Just don’t stay in your down turns forever. Without being detrimental to yourself or others, find your relief button and harness it.
“You don’t always have to be strong, but please never give up.”