To hold your peace…

To hold your peace is to not let it go for anything.

I used to be a big believer in treating people exactly how they treated you. In fact I took it a step further gave out twice what I was given. If you were kind and sweet to me, you would swear I was made in a chocolate factory just by how I responded to you. If you decided to hand me lemons, better believe you would encounter the woman who made the lemon tree. Then life happened and this belief almost became my ruin. I encountered situations that were cold, hard and unforgiving and I responded as such to show what I thought was resilience. When I looked in the mirror what looked back at me was a cold, hard and unforgiving person. This is who people saw now when they looked at me, even I could see it. People thought twice before they decided to approach me, because of the aggression that emanated from me. Always braced for a fight.

How did we get here then? I allowed people to mould me with their hurt, anger, brokenness and fear. I gave out what was given to me, not realizing that I was being built on the inside by all of this and it wasn’t pretty. It was a game and I never lost not once. Until someone was brave enough to call me out on it, making me realize what I was doing to myself. All of this was eroding my soul. Then I began to learn that one did not treat others with grace because these people they gave it to deserved it, but because they themselves where gracious, peaceFULL. Grace, kindness, love, peace then should not be responses but traits, in born attributes regardless of the situation because this is who you are, don’t allow anyone to change it.

There is a very common misconception in society today, that if you treat people the way they treat you they will learn to treat you better. That is not the truth, it is far from the truth. People turn it into a game and quite frankly no one wins. The truth is you can teach people how to treat you, by how you treat yourself, by communicating how you want to be treated and by walking away from situations that threaten to disturb your peace. If you’re a kind and sensitive soul stay that way, don’t change yourself to garner anybody’s attention. It doesn’t make you passive, if anything it makes you assertive, you refuse to let someone else’s pain influence how you treat them or anybody else. So then this is my new belief, be kind to people even if it kills you and still with kindness, with your head held high walk away from people that turn your feelings into sport, there is so much more to lose if you stayed.


“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”

Mahatma Ghandi


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