A Love for my Mistakes

I have slowly started falling in love with my mistakes. Its different now, I used to dread error, failure, mistakes. Striving for perfection was my main goal in life, and to be honest it just gave me so much strife. The fear of making an error, failing crippled me so badly, I was in constant fear all the time. Then I made the biggest blunder of my life, this surely is going to be the end of me I thought. I thought about my family, my friends, what they would all think. For a moment there my life was over. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die, but a part of me wouldn’t let me. As I sat there in a dark time, lo and behold there came the best thing that ever happened to me, right in the middle of my biggest fail, a blunder of my own doing, came the most beautiful thing life could offer me.

So I began to look back, over my life, at errors I had made, failed attempts at some stuff, some very colossal, I then looked at the after effect, it didn’t kill me, I was still here. I had attempted at several other greater things and I had succeeded. More so I had vital lessons on hand now. The truth is something came out of each blunder, each failure.I came to this realization, that I was in a happy place when my boss called me a few days ago, he wanted to catch up with how I was doing, he asked me how my confidence levels where doing and my response was, I am not afraid to embarrass myself anymore, I am absolutely okay with failing, making an error and being corrected. There was finally nothing wrong with not knowing everything. I walked out of that meeting thinking to myself, was I really carefree about embarrassing myself? I wondered. Then a few days down the line, I was in a crowd and a song I loved came on and got up without a second thought, I danced to my hearts content, yes truly I wasn’t afraid to embarrass myself anymore. I don’t care much for what people make of me any more, what I believe is what matters, blunders are inevitable and that’s okay.

So yes, To my mistakes, I love you. You have shown me a thousand and one ways of not doing something and the one way of doing it just right. Taught me failure isn’t the end its only the beginning, failure is the only way I will know what success feels like. You have taught me I deserve so much more than what I aim for most times. I finally know you’re a learning process, and you in no way define who I am. You dear friend are my building block, you have created such a great woman.

Kukie.

“Mistakes are proof that you are trying.”

Unknown

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