My Bad Decision….

I encountered you, instead of walking away I chose to stay, you didn’t make me, I chose to stay. I stayed more for you, less for me, more for turning this amazing wrong into a vindicated right. I was intent on turning you, my damnation, into my salvation. How could the devil save a soul from himself, I never wondered. I was going to make you fit in my otherwise chaotic life, chaotic only because I let you make it that way, it was all silence before you, but I gave you the wheel, believing you loved me and you drove off a cliff never telling me you could fly and I had no wings. I would fall all alone to that dark, cold and sinister place.

And so nights came and went, my lips cursed your name for selling me a dream, you could never give me. In the silence I sought power and he found me. Then it dawned on me, you never kept me captive, I chose to stay, I chose you as my fate. I was my own undoing, you where the tool. It was you who taught me the consequences of bad decisions. You, my bad decision, in your own twisted way were my biggest blessing. You, my bad decision showed me I could survive broken, that without you I was sufficient, just enough spirit to tip the world over. You taught me that happy didn’t cost so much, that I could give it to myself without trying too hard.

I despise you not, I fear you less, I love me more, more for me, more for him that deserves it from me.  You my tormenter, my worst mistake, my bad decision were after all my biggest inspiration.

Kukie

”Mistakes are just another class, don’t hold on, learn from them and move on.”

MN

 

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