“To Feel or Not to Feel.”

That is the Question….

Some of the best things in life are total mistakes. Anomalies that no  one expected, errors in an otherwise perfect sequence. Accidents that would have never happened in a million years, but in that moment they do, and they change the course  of your life forever. They are beautiful, surreal and you barely see them coming, if ever. But when they happen, My gosh when they happen. Palms sweaty, heart so hopeful. Talking to yourself could you really have caught a break this time, or its one of natures cruel jokes and it will be yanked from you at any given moment. Its like jumping off a cliff and hoping, no, believing someone catches you. Your NOT plummeting to your death solely depends on your belief in another human catching you, another dream coming through and not falling through as per usual. What are the chances they will catch you? what are the chances they will care? Will it all be a passing fancy, or as always will it be your foolish soul running after a mere whim that hardly ever existed.

And so to believe or not to believe, to jump or not to jump, to feel or not to feel that is the conundrum. That alone is the question, the biggest question. Will you sit this one out or go all in. You have found a sweet spot within yourself, you are master of an existence by yourself and boy do you love it. You have learned that such an existence is the most carefree thing in the world, it has given you time to yourself to grow. You have learnt to be content and patience has become your craft, or has it become your drug, your vice, your new excuse to never try anything extraordinary. You damn the world and everything in it for changing the course on you after you mastered the current, knew its flow. It then offered you this whole new ideology, a different perspective with crazy possibilities. All you have to do is believe that this time its for real, that this time it would work how you thought it always would, before the world turned you into the cynic you are. And that even if it didn’t you could still weather the storm and come out strong.

Not to feel and remain as you are unchanged, revelling in your new found solace, your peace of mind. Not to feel and remain a spectator in this show called life, and risk never leaving any print on this earth to be remembered by, just because you were too careful. Or to feel and be part of the game of fools. Giving up all your sanity for a chance that may never come. To feel and risk all you are for that one fine moment. To feel then….Not to feel……Now that is the question

Kukie

“Feelings are much like waves, we cant stop them from coming, but we can chose which one to surf.”

Jonathan Martensson

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