To: Cupids little Slaves
I honestly wish we had meetings every Thursday, in a church hall somewhere, a safe haven. At 6pm an hour after work hours. I imagine it would be an encouraging group and we would have an old lady there hosting the meetings .Well she wouldn’t be that old but she would be kind and sweet anyway and she would have a pretty name like Nancy . She probably would have been free of romantic delusions and romanticizing everything for over 20 years, and that would give me some hope. She would probably be married to an old sweet guy called George and she probably would have met him while she was just getting past her delusions and just getting a hold of reality, I will be sure to tell you her story sometime.
I imagine I was invited to these meetings by a good friend called Nsama. Sweet soul that one, finally with a man that loves and respects her, when I ask her how she did it, all she has for me is two words. Faith and patience and of course the weekly RA (Romanceaholics Anonymous incase you forgot) meetings. In fact she met the bloke there. So anyway back to my story, she basically saw my life getting out of control and she suggested the meetings, I initially thought it was ridiculous but here I am third week of attendance and somehow am finally starting to get a grip. In retrospect tomorrow would be my third meeting I would be expected to share. To some extent scared but I assume the last two meetings gave me courage and I know am not alone.
So I finally stand in front of my fellows, I look across the crowd and all I see is encouragement, no judgement whatsoever and finally I meet Nancys’ eyes and she smiles, urging me on. And I begin; Hi my name is kukie and am a Romanceaholic and everyone responds Hi kukie, and for some reason the response gives me steam to go on. Well I don’t have much to share today seeing its my third week, I have only been sober three weeks today. I know this may not be much to most of you considering how far you’ve come but it’s a miracle to me. Before today I fell in “love” easily and by the fifth day in my mind I already picked out the dress and the number of kids we would have, and every guy I met in that condition would take advantage of the situation (the situation being my delusions) and leave me for dead. I look at Nsama and she looks at me with compassion and some pity which i despise. So I go on “Well that being a problem for the last few years am glad to say since I started coming to meetings I encountered an Adonis of a man, I smile to myself,he could be the spawn of Zeus himself. Three weeks ago I would have bent over backwards to get his attention but I handled business with him, handed him to a colleague and walked away, but to say I did not imagine us walking on a sandy beach somewhere hand in hand as I walked away, I would be lying, because I did but I walked away and I think that’s what matters. Otherwise I could have stayed and tried to make it happen. Then my conscience begged the question,what if he’s the one,” and I responded “what good am I to him in this state…Thank you”
Everyone applauds and Nancy stands up and says thank you Mukuka (old people refuse to call me kukie)
“I walk with my head downcast to avert my eyes lest they deceive me again.”