Ever had moments when you confuse you.When you don’t know you at all, you just baffle yourself. Can you imagine you are an enigma to you.Of course we have glimpses of who we are truly once in a blue moon. The problem is knowing you is a lot of work and a lot of you time. The efforts just tire you out, wear you thin until you have no option but to fold. Its easier to fold actually and conform to the rest of the world, much easier than self discovery anyway, because ever since i started that route i still haven’t figured out what my favorite color really is yet, i mean i have an idea but i honestly don’t know it a hundred percent. It would be easier to align myself to someones else’s ideology, because well then they would accept me, and they are already made rules and norms you have to follow. So all the work is done for you, easy peasy but it just wouldn’t be you. That’s what bugs me the most the fact that it wouldn’t be me at all.
Reinvention is what it is. You start meeting you and getting to know you. I just realized that its exactly like being in a new relationship. You know that one person you meet, infatuated with them and you just figure you’re “in love” with them in a flash when you don’t really know them. Then their cracks begin to show, and all their nasty quirks, then you discover they come with all this baggage, that you cant even begin to comprehend. So if you can cope you stick around, but if you just cant deal, you walk. Its precisely like that only you don’t have the option of walking away from yourself when the going gets tough. So basically you’re stuck with you. You must begin to understand you, really know you, learn your short comings and your strengths. Not easy but fun at times, can be stressful and boring but important. You learn to not be so dependent on the affection, respect and love of others for you, because you finally understand your self worth and how all the joys are determined by you and hence enough for you first, then enough to go around.
You need this time out for you, it finally helps you understand how you cannot expect someone to understand you, when you don’t understand yourself, helps you ascertain what you can take from people and what you cannot. You would finally have a set of rules you can properly live by, hence the only obligation is to you. Such that when you decide to share all of you with a person, you know exactly what you bring to the table. You finally get that the trick isnt in finding someone ( regardless of the context you see it in) who will love you, the trick is in finding someone who you can share with all of that, that is in you and more….
“The one thing you have that nobody else has, is YOU, YOUR VOICE, YOUR MIND, YOUR STORY, YOUR VISION.”
“Knowing other is intelligence, knowing yourself is true wisdom.”
TAO TE CHING