25 @ 25 Lessons learnt

Well made it to 25 today, and honestly it feels good, i feel content, i am genuinely happy, the kind of happy that comes from the inside. funny enough am not concerned about cake at all( everyone knows I love cake). Anyway i thought i should share the 25 lessons i have learnt in life to get to 25 and what everyone needs to know, so here goes;

1. Make God your center simply because he is there in all kinds of weather. You need that kind of consistency in life, that kind of love, something that holds you together when things are falling apart, and keeps you grounded when things are going great. Let him be a force to reckon with in your life. You would be amazed the things he can do for you. And faith in him will take you places.

2. Family is everything. No man is an island. we all need our little Avengers team, our Ride or Die team. that can be crude enough to tell us when we are going south, that set of people that wont sugar coat anything, but will tell you as it is.Even when you fight with them you know its all out of love. The set that can genuinely be happy for you with no qualms what so ever, they rejoice in your progress and you rejoice in theirs.

3. Death will change you. The passing of a loved one will destroy you, crush your spirit into the ground and leave you helpless and lost. So yes death will change you, but how you let it change you is what will matter, the difference it will make in your life will be the tribute to the life gone, yet still here through the change it brought.

4. You cant have everything you want, but you can have everything you need. In fact we must hope we don’t get everything we want, because not everything we want is good for us, in most cases its very destructive to our lives. The worst place to be at is a point where you have everything you want but beg for what you need.

5. With friends its about quality and not quantity. you don’t need a thousand and one friends to feel good about yourself, the number of friends you have in no way defines you as a person,  but the kind of friends you have does. This is where the saying “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” comes from, have a set that is good for you not cool for you.

6. Karma is only a bitch when you are. karma regardless of what you believe in, who you believe in, karma is applicable to everyone. No matter what you put out there know, don’t even doubt it, you must know its coming back for you a ten fold, it wont miss a step or take a different route and aim for some one else, nope it will come for you and you alone. So if “Bitch” is what you put out “bitch” is what you get back, and if “Saint” is what you put out “Saint” is what you get back.

7. Failure is vital for growth. The only way we know what success feels like is because we know what failure feels like. Without failure there wouldn’t be success and this is how we progress and grow. So failure is not to say you must quit, it another way of saying there is another route about it. So you get up, dust yourself and try again.

8. Content is King. Bill gates was right when he applied this statement to the internet. And i hope am right when I apply it to people, women especially. Have some substance to you, some intrigue, some sort of sophistication. Read, travel, learn, interact do all you can to improve your substance and do all this for YOU. Don’t ever be an empty vessel, and don’t ever believe anyone who tells you that’s your best feature, that they like how “blonde” you are because in time that is what they will despise about you the most.

9. Alone is not lonely. Alone is solo, on your own and content with that position and can change when need arises, or when one wants to change that stance. Everyone whether with people or on there own can feel lonely ( hence the saying feeling alone in a crowd.). So lonely is not Alone, just as alone is not lonely. The two are very different circumstances and people will relate to them differently.

10. The only thing Age shows is experience. Age will in no way show maturity or intelligence, all its got on you is experience and nothing else. How you apply that experience, is what adds substance to you. So yes listen to the aged, for they have experience you could apply to your own growth, your ability to apply these experiences to your own life is what will set you apart from a lot of people, and allow you to walk among kings.

11. Happiness is you. You can not find your happiness in anyone or anything, guaranteed! You can only ever find it in you. If you are miserable now and you figure you may find it with some one else, you are so wrong. The reason you should get into anything with anyone is to share your happiness, get it? Because you’ve got it to share. So if misery is what you’ve got misery is what you will share.

12. Don’t share your problems with everyone. They are your problems, and not anybody else. So why should the rest of the world know everything anyway. Share them with people that matter, that will provide you with a solution. As for everyone else these are the statistics, eighty percent of them are glad you have them and the other twenty percent just don’t care.

13. Great moments are best shared. What makes any achievement great is sharing it. with your loved ones and those that basically care.When you remember that moment the achievement itself cannot even stand in comparison to the laughter, the joy, the people and how it all made you feel.

14. Like Rome character cannot be built in a day. Meaning a great personality is built overtime, takes a lot of work, strength, humility, mistakes and the like. Learn to take criticism and apply it to yourself. Strive to be better than you were yesterday. And understand that change cant happen overnight but overtime.

15. Success is ninety percent listening and ten percent talking. I learnt this from Simon Cowell on one of Oprah’s Life classes, and I have tried by all means to live by it, and it works like magic. Never enjoy the sound of your own voice, because from it you learn nothing. But when you listen to others, you gain the ability to pick brains and in so doing you learn lessons, life lessons that they, themselves did not even intend to teach.

16. The Race is against you and nobody else. If the reason you get up every morning is to out do others you’re wasting your time and hindering yourself in the long run. The idea should be to race against yourself, when its against yourself the energy is good, because the only thing on your mind is your winning, coming out at the top. When its against some one else  you’re thinking about their failure and how you will bask in it, also you’re thinking about your failure and how they would bask in it. So bad energy you put out bad energy you get back and there is no winning there.

17. Don’t take yourself too seriously, half the world doesn’t anyway. lighten up, have fun. enjoy your life, it is yours after all, its not borrowed or on lease, its yours. So why spend it frowning. When you could spend it creating memories. One day you will be eighty and all you will have will be your memories, am not sure you want to look back on dull and frowny moments.

18. Anger is exhausting. people will let you down, FACT. They will desert you and leave you stranded. They will hurt your feelings without a second thought. They will break your heart like it didn’t matter. But staying angry at them will do you no favors, it will burn you from the inside, wear you out. The worst thing is that its degenerative to you and you alone, and not to the person your angry at. So let it go, forgive, not for them, for you, for your peace of mind.

19. Learn to say you’re sorry. the ability to apologize, to admit when you’re wrong is no young mans game, it takes a certain level of maturity and humility. But when you re able to do it diligently, from the heart its great for your conscience.  you wont hurt feelings over foolish pride and people will respect you for it.

20. Learn to walk away from things that don’t build you anymore. When people, relationships have run their course in your life, let them go, there is no use in holding onto things that no longer serve you. Some are here for seasons others a lifetime. You can never turn a season into a lifetime. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to keep alive what God is trying to kill.

21. There is no such thing as a perfect person. If you have met a perfect person give it sometime, the cracks will show eventually. Why look for a perfect person when you’re not perfect yourself anyway. But that’s the beauty of it all, the quirks are the best parts, they are what makes the person stand out, so instead of looking forward to the perfections, look forward to the quirks, because they usually bring out the best in a person.

22. A Woman who knows her self worth understands that its not about finding a Man she deserves, But its all about finding a Man who deserves her. Who is good enough for her goodness. And a Man will always get the kind of woman he deserves. Its through this that people are able to describe your partner just by looking at you.

23. Your imagination should be like that of a child. WILD. As you grow that should never change. Your imagination will take you places, get things done you never thought you could. Its only your imagination that can take you to the moon and back. You can only go as far as your imagination takes you, make sure its far enough.

24. Love is like a lotto. You can only hit jackpot if you keep playing. So don’t expect to win if you’re not playing, so keep buying that ticket. You will lose quite a few times, but you will DEFINITELY win sometime, so just keep at it. Grab it by the horns and swing.

25. Patience is all you need for everything. Life is designed to try your staying power. your ability to stick it out, wait it out. Patience is a virtue, a very difficult one to uphold but an important one nonetheless. If you are able to exercise it and you have mastered it. You my friend are blessed. With patience alone the things you could achieve are beyond comprehension.

Well these are about everything and more life has tossed at me in the last quarter century , that’s the beauty about aging it gives you a chance to keep learning, So i look forward to the next quarter and hope it will be great.

Kukie

Zangose, Veronica & Chibuye , you guys wouldn’t  believe how much of all of you is in me. And I am grateful everyday that i have you  lot. I love you Idiots to the moon and back….

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